A Quarter-Century in the Ongoing and Amazing Journey

It was an important moment 25 years ago this day.  I was 6 weeks old, and I came with my family to St. Cornelius Parish, a modernistic-looking church on the Northwest Side of Chicago.

There, I died...

...and was raised to new Life in Christ through the waters of Baptism.

In this picture at my baptism, my Dad is holding me.  My Uncle Bernie, my godfather, stands to the left of my Dad in a lighter-colored suit, and my Aunt Terri, my godmother, stands to the right of my Dad, in a purple-looking top.

I certainly don't remember much about that day.  But in recent years, I've reinvigorated my celebration of April 28 because it marked an important moment in my faith journey.  For it was through my baptism that I entered into a new way of life, free from sin and under God's graces.

As I celebrate this milestone, I think of the question Pope St. John Paul II asked a crowd before him when he visited France: "What have you done with your baptism?"

It's important for me to consider this question because it's not enough that I was baptized a quarter-century ago.  What counts is what I've done with this gift of faith since then by which this event takes on its true meaning, and is evidence of my being saved now.

Initially, it fell on my parents to raise me in the ways of faith.  And they certainly were faithful in the promises they made at my baptism to do just that.  They spent time reading the Bible with me, and that was one of several ways I learned about the stories of our faith.  Certainly as I started to pick up on the ways of faith, especially in those times of Bible reading, and also in religious education classes, and even grabbing on to certain aspects of Mass, even though I initially had trouble appreciating the experience of it.

The pivotal period when I started embracing my faith more deeply came when I went to Percy Julian Middle School.  I met many Jewish people, one teacher in particular, and among my new classmates and friends.  Their openness to expressing their religion and culture was so enlightening for me, and it caused me to turn inwardly in self-reflection, which led me to appreciate who I am, especially who I am in Christ by faith.

That change within me laid the foundation for me to engage deeply with my faith in Religious Education classes at Ascension, and then most especially in the process of my Confirmation:  While I learned a lot about the Roman Catholic faith in the preparation process, it truly went to my heart at a retreat three weeks before, when I learned what I heard a message that truly spoke to me about what it means to live this out.  That retreat helped me to be truly ready to be sealed in the power of the Holy Spirit.  Also in that process, I came to embrace having a spiritual mentor.  I certainly received important nurturing from teachers in religion classes, but in choosing my Uncle Bernie as my Confirmation sponsor, I found a one-of-a-kind mentor.  It was fitting to choose him for this role, because my parents chose him as my godfather.  In the decade since my Confirmation, I have often turned to him for his counsel, and I have grown into a very close relationship with him, which has invigorated my faith.

I continued remaining dedicated to the practice of faith throughout high school: Among other things, I started lectoring regularly at this time, and took a firm stance on hot-button social issues, informed by what my faith teaches me.  But I faced challenging circumstances during that time period, which put some strains on my faith, though there was some growth that came through enduring these challenges.

Then I was renewed in faith in a glorious way, reminiscent of what happened in middle school, when I went to college and, from my first full day on campus, got involved in the ministry of the St. Teresa of Avila Roman Catholic Student Center.  I am so blessed to have had a part in this vibrant community that truly makes God's presence known in living out the Gospel.  This ministry truly sustained me during all that I experienced in my college years, and furthermore helped me flourish in faith.  One experience that helped me enter into a deeper relationship with God was the Kairos Retreat my freshman year.  A big watershed moment came when I participated in a mission/service trip during the first week of my senior year spring break to St. Augustine, St. Teresa's sister parish in Winnebago, NE.  In giving of myself, and embracing the sense of community in both the people there and the people in my group from St. Teresa's, I encountered God in a profound new way.  I left college feeling so proud to be Roman Catholic, for my experience at St. Teresa's helped me see the life and vitality this church denomination espouses.  And throughout my time in college, I embraced faith as an all-encompassing aspect of life, which exhibited itself in other ways I engaged with my spiritual life while at Valparaiso University.

As I rode this wave upon my exit from college, I started getting more involved in the Ascension Parish community.  Jim Wojcik, who I know from helping decorate the church for liturgical seasons, trained me as a thurifer, with my first time doing it at Mass on Ascension Sunday 2013, a week before my college graduation.  A few months later, I answered the call to be a Eucharistic minister, which has given me wonderful new perspective on faith, and allowed me to engage more deeply with the Mass, the central experience of faith.

But the most significant involvement I've had at Ascension is in Religious Education, because it has truly put me in a position to give of myself in taking the great gift of faith I've received, and passing it along to the next generation, to inspire them to grow in faith as many have inspired me.  From my experience, there's so much potential for growth in them, and it's so exciting to be there to plant the seeds and watch their faith start to arise.  Together with participating in Confirmation preparation, teaching Religious Education (RE) has taken me back to the time of life when I first flourished in faith, and keeps me fresh in why it's so important.  Indeed, teaching RE has stirred a profound sense of joy deep in my very soul, which I first felt back in middle school.

It's incredible think how much of a journey just the aspect of teaching RE has been in my overall faith journey.  Back when I was a RE student, I would have never thought I'd be back to teach, but here I am, having just completed my third year, and it's been an awesome experience for all three years.

And there's no telling where it will go from here.  I certainly feel a sense of a blank slate in front of me, having just finished another RE year.  There's always a sense of "Now what?" when one experience finishes and another one starts.  But faith teaches us that if one amazing thing can happen, there's no reason why there can't be more, as God is always doing something new!  Certainly in my experience teaching RE, each year is great, and the following is even greater.  It makes me think of the Last Supper discourse in the Gospel of John when Jesus told His disciples that they are going to do even greater things than He did in His Earthly ministry, because He is going to the Father.  He now transcends time and space, doing marvelous works from within us.

This reality is part of our joyful celebration of the Easter Season, which enhances what I celebrate this day.  Earlier this month, in accordance with plans I made a few weeks ahead of time, to celebrate the quarter-century milestones of both my birth and baptism, I attended Mass at St. Cornelius, the place where the journey started for me.  It was especially fitting to remember my baptism while attending Mass during the Easter Season, when we recall God's graces given to us in this sacrament, which we remember in the sprinkling rite.  It was a time when I could recall how God brought me alive, as He brings the whole world alive in the reality of the Resurrection.  By His Paschal Mystery, He has freed us from sin and given us new life by faith in Christ, which was the great gift I received that day when I was baptized.

I didn't earn or deserve this gift, but it has compelled me to respond by being transformed by it.  I have kept myself open to the ways God reveals Himself, even in the presence of my Jewish classmates back in middle school, or in other churches that I've attended when on vacation, ranging from Our Lady of Tahoe in Zephyr Cove, NV, to St. Bede in Williamsburg, VA.  And I've embraced the relationships I've made along the way in the context of faith that have spurred my growth, and driven me to live it out, for the Glory of God, and the benefit of others.

All it takes is for me to keep remaining in Him, as He remains in me, while I live out the faith He has given me in the love He first showed me, and by which I glorify Him.  The best part of all is that so long as I remain in Him, this experience never ends:  It brings me a sense of vitality in this life while on my pilgrimage to Heaven, where together with all the saints we will worship God without cease.

Standing by the baptismal font at St. Cornelius Parish, after attending Mass there about three years ago

Paschal Mystery Version 2016

There's a song that sings about how Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. And I'll agree that there's much about the celebration of Christ's Birth that's marvelous. But what really strikes me as the most wonderful time of the year is the Sacred Paschal Triduum, which speaks to the heart of our faith, brought about by the Death and Resurrection of Christ. It is for this reason that I eagerly participate in each year in the Triduum liturgies. Certainly, I have my favorite moments I look forward to each year, which are in a list in the comments section at the end of my 2014 Triduum reflection. Yet at the same time, each year's Triduum observances allow me to experience the events of the Paschal Mystery in a whole new way, as you can see looking back upon my 2015 Triduum reflection.

This year's Triduum weekend had a wonderful prelude, in the context of Religious Education (RE) class.  In my classes, we prayed the Stations of the Cross.  It provided a wonderful opportunity for us to reflect on how we experience the Passion of Christ in our own lives, based on a reflections sheet we used.  On Palm Sunday, instead of having RE class as usual, all the students and teachers gathered in the gym, and then we processed into 9 AM Mass.  

It was a great opportunity to get into the groove of Holy Week, commemorating the pivotal events of the Paschal Mystery, as well as a chance for the children of the parish to have some involvement in this important liturgy. While at Palm Sunday Mass hearing the proclamation of the Passion narrative, I couldn't help but be struck by how amazing it was to fully encounter once again these stories that are at the heart of our faith, as it was with the Scriptures throughout the coming week into the Triduum.

At Maundy Thursday Mass, the Great Paschal Triduum started with the uplifting lyrics of “We Should Glory in the Cross of Our Lord Jesus Christ.”  Father Bob put it well in his homily when he said that the Eucharistic meal, at the heart of our life as Roman Catholics, is a life-giving meal.  It came in the spirit of Passover, when the blood of lambs kept the firstborn sons of Israel alive, just as now Jesus’s blood, offered in love for us, brings us alive. The foot-washing rite was an opportunity to celebrate that love demonstratively. It was meaningful for me during the foot-washing rite to have my feet washed by Rachel, who serves as the aide for my Sunday RE class, because of the ways she's helped me in class as we shared in serving our students by passing on the faith to them.

To enhance the celebration of the institution of the Eucharist, Father Bob sang the Eucharistic prayer.  Then, I had the opportunity to minister the cup, while a lovely bilingual hymn we as a parish learned back in October was sung, speaking of the Eucharist, “Amén. El Cuerpo de Cristo”.

After communion ended, the choir sang a powerful motet that acclaimed the Body and Blood of Christ, and calling upon Jesus, who sacrificed Himself to us, to show us mercy.  Truly, truly, we can count on Jesus, and fall into His merciful arms because of the salvation He won for us. And, as usually happens, chills went all through me as “Pange Lingua” started up, and I felt like I was going to cry.

"Hail our Savior's glorious Body..."
The side tabernacle at Mary's altar, with the main tabernacle laid bare (see center right of picture)

On Cross Friday, I went to St. Bernardine at 3 PM to pray the Stations of the Cross, desiring to do it again after doing it in RE class.  There was a certain repetitive groove to it, and the reflections for each station were bathed in Scripture to drive our prayers for how we experience the Passion of Christ in our own lives.

Later, I attended the Liturgy at Ascension.  Father Hurlbert offered an insight I had never really considered before:  Because of what Jesus endured in His Passion, the Cross is a kind of trophy, and it’s something we can embrace, just as athletes who win a trophy tend to kiss it.  This insight made me realize that while difficulties are an unpleasant reality of life, Jesus redeemed them to be a means by which we can achieve victory.  And so I gladly offered my life’s difficulties when I went to venerate the Cross, confident in the good God can bring about because of them.  

Indeed, while Cross Friday makes us face those things regarded as the unpleasantries of life, namely suffering and death, it shows us how much God loved us in becoming human and fully taking them on. And, of course, the joy and glory of the Resurrection can’t be fully appreciated without meditating on the Passion of Christ. (Coinciding with the days of the Triduum was a reminder of the reality of suffering in the world with flags flying at half-staff--see picture below--to mourn those lost in the Brussels terrorist attacks earlier during Holy Week.)

Saturday morning I was back at Church to get the bride ready and beautiful for the most important occasion of the liturgical year.  (My legs felt sore from repeated genuflecting during the Stations prayer and the solemn intercessions at the evening Liturgy the day before.)

Then came the Holy Saturday Easter Vigil.  As I walked to the front of church for the Service of Light outside, I paused inside to remind myself of the darkness of the Church being like the dark tomb of Christ, an observation I shared with my students when we reached Station 14, Jesus's burial, during our prayer in class time.

There were so many lines in the Exultet and the readings that stood out to me as we progressed through the Mass. (Father Hurlbert certainly did an amazing job singing the Exultet.) Both my Dad and I had the privilege of serving as lectors. At our rehearsal a week before, each person did a practice run of his/her proclamation, and then everyone else offered suggestions.  My Dad proclaimed the story of God's calling Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac.  Someone suggested to my Dad that he read this story as if God was telling him to sacrifice me.  Fortunately, I made it through Dad’s reading, and then I had the opportunity to proclaim the reading from Ezekiel.  I felt a nervous sort of energy swell in me as I mounted the ambo, which gave way to a bold proclamation in the still somewhat darkened church.  One amazing insight I gained from the reading speaks about how God sought to restore His people from sin, cleansing them inwardly through and through, even with the image of being sprinkled with water, which connects with baptism.  He did all this restoration not for His people, but for the sake of His Holy Name, that it be magnified.

Not too long after my reading came the high point, the Gospel of the Resurrection.  And as usually happens, I got really emotional and nearly teared up when I heard David Anderson sing out that first strain of the stepped "Alleluia".

The Gospel procession

Following the Gospel reading proclamation, Father Hurlbert said something in his homily that struck me:  We often regard the Resurrection as some kind of afterthought, but really, it’s the heart of our faith, so long as we don’t kid ourselves.  As I see it, the Resurrection is something real, which we can count on, and brings us alive even now.

Upon that point in the Vigil Mass, I felt a surge of joyful energy, even despite some fatigue, especially with the music, as I sang out loudly songs such as "Be Not Afraid, Sing out for Joy, Christ is Risen, Alleluia!" and the closing hymn, "Christ the Lord is Risen" set to an African melody.  I was indeed in a really good mood as I made merry afterwards at the reception.

On Sunday morning, I served as thurifer, offering up high praises to our Risen and Living Savior through incense.  This role kept me quite active during Mass.  I also helped with the sprinkling rite.  After we renewed our baptismal promises, the goal of our Lenten journey, I went forth to sprinkle the people, and among those sitting in the areas I covered were Dad, and two of my RE students, with their families.

One part of Mass that was so enjoyable was how our celebration of the Resurrection of Christ was enhanced richly by being together as a community.  Christ is truly Risen and alive in our midst as we join together and make the Resurrection a reality for each other in church community. And this happens all the time as we gather together, and share our experience of faith. I see it happen at Mass, and also in RE class, as I take great joy in spending time with my students, leading them to embracing the ways of faith.

Inside Ascension Church before the start of 9 AM Mass on Easter/Resurrection Sunday morning

(By the way, the weather sure was nice on Easter/Resurrection Sunday, setting the mood well: As I left Mass, I walked out into sunny and mild conditions, quite a contrast from the forecast a week before that called for rain and 40s.)

Standing with Father Bob outside Ascension Church after Mass, as he finished passing out chocolate as a treat

Indeed, I take great joy in being part of the life of the church community, especially in worshiping God who so greatly loves us. At the conclusion of the Holy Saturday Vigil, Father Hurlbert recognized all those who had a part in making the Triduum liturgies the rich, solemn proceedings they were.  He furthermore thanked all of us for attending, especially those who came all three days, noting how much of a commitment it is.  That comment gave me pause.  I certainly gave a lot of time to being at Church four days in a row to celebrate the Paschal Triduum, and it is a bit exhausting.  But I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  I’m so in love with God, in such a deep relationship with Him, that I desire so greatly to participate in these liturgies that are about celebrating the events that are the most important in human history, and more so, are at the heart of the relationship I have with Him by faith, giving me purpose in life now. In many ways, it reminded me of being present at a wedding, which is imagery used at certain points during the Easter Vigil Mass, especially the Exultet, talking about how Christ's death and Resurrection weds the things of Earth to those of Heaven. And at this wedding feast, I express most fully my love. Indeed, throughout Saturday and into Sunday, my mind constantly had this image of a newly wed couple kissing, as I sought to express my love for God.

Furthermore, the Holy Saturday Easter Vigil Mass defines why I love being Roman Catholic. While God is so beyond our ability of total comprehension of Him, in His love He reveals Himself to us, through various mysteries, most especially the Paschal Mystery:  God has worked throughout history to save His people, culminating in the death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ.  It is indeed a mystery how God brought about our salvation, and how He joins us to Christ that we share in this Mystery, in dying and rising, which is expressed so richly in these liturgies, especially in the nightly Mass of Holy Saturday.  And it is lived out in our lives even now, because it gives us hope, which spurs us on our way to Life Eternal.

The Paschal Candle, with the Light of Christ blazing forth from atop the pillar, declaring His victory over death