Now that God has come to Earth to be with us, He continues to manifest Himself in so many ways, as we celebrate throughout the Christmas Season and beyond.
The Christmas Season 2021-22 was special because of how God manifested Himself anew at the wedding of my longtime college roommate Zach and his wife Heather.
Following my graduation, we've kept in contact along with a group of other close ValpU friends.
He first shared with our group that he had started a relationship with Heather in the fall of 2020. By summer 2021, they were engaged. Soon after, he asked me if I would be a groomsman at his wedding, and I gladly accepted.
Heather and Zach scheduled their wedding for New Year's Eve 2021. It was certainly a momentous way to conclude the year, and I felt the grand nature of the day from the moment I awoke. After attending Mass for the final time of 2021 to enter into a deeper spirit of prayer for the day's occasion, having breakfast, and tending to some other matters, I departed Oak Park shortly before 11 AM.
I got on I-290, and then drove I-94 south, all the way onto IL 394 and then east on US 30 into Lake County in northwest Indiana. I arrived at Zach's condo around noon. He soon arrived with friends Matthew and Roy, my fellow groomsmen. We then suited up in our tuxedos. I had never dressed up so much before in my life, and had never even put on a bowtie, although the one for this tuxedo was a clip-on bowtie. I certainly like the way the tuxedo looked, and commend Heather and Zach for the great choices they made for the wedding party outfits. As we got ourselves dressed, Mark, the photographer arrived, and got some shots of us. From the start, he demonstrated himself to be so personable and friendly. He even helped me put on my bowtie.
Once we were dressed, we headed to the Grand Old Lady, the Historic Lake County Courthouse in Crown Point, arriving by 1 PM. On the way there, Roy got on his laptop to do an hour of work for his job. After getting out of Avila, while walking to the courthouse, a couple of people took notice of how Roy and I were dressed. Someone asked if there was an event. Another person said we looked "sharp". Once used as the official building for Lake County government offices, the courthouse is now a historic museum site with some shops and rental venues. There, we did lots of photographs with the whole wedding party. It was at this time that I first met Heather, arrayed in all her wedding glory. Around 3 PM, members of Zach's and Heather's families arrived to take photos. In between photo shoots, we engaged in friendly conversation with the security monitor at the building and the bridesmaids. Delaney in particular was eager to use this opportunity to get to know us, Zach's friends, and peppered us with lots of questions. We concluded shortly before 4 PM, and headed to Avalon Manor in Merrillville, the venue for the wedding.
Upon arriving, we got ourselves situated in the room where the ceremony would be held, and then had a rehearsal. Donna, Heather's mom, helped direct us groomsmen for our escort duties, first for the grandmothers, then the mothers, and then the bridesmaids. Zach's Uncle, Pastor Jim, also directed us and did a practice of the vows, using a small black book of prayers. Having been informed that I would be the best man, I took the opportunity to make myself ready embrace the role for the ceremony and the celebration afterward. After the rehearsal, the guests started arriving in greater numbers. Zach had people he knows from the martial arts studio where he works serve as ushers.
At 5:30, the ceremony began. I escorted Zach's grandmother, Harriet, who he calls Mimi, up to her seat. After the other grandmothers present were seated, I escorted Zach's mom Elizabeth to her seat, who was followed by Heather's mom. And then, after Matthew and Roy escorted their bridesmaids up the aisle, I escorted Teresa, the maid of honor, up the aisle.
Then, Heather processed up the aisle escorted by her dad, Paul, as we heard the music "Trumpet Voluntary". And when they reached Pastor Jim, he began the prayers of the ceremony. While I knew that serving as best man was quite an honor, as I stood beside Zach, it dawned on me how immense of an honor it was. Perhaps it really hit me when Pastor Jim announced it was time for the presentation of the rings. I reached into my tuxedo pocket and produced the small box with both of their rings, the symbols of their marriage covenant.
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| Before the ceremony, I took this picture with the ring box, held over the wedding program. (All photos in this blog post are mine, unless otherwise noted.) |
Shortly thereafter, Zach turned to me and quietly whispered for me to open up the box of the matzoh crackers for communion.
Pastor Jim led Heather and Zach in their vows to love each other. He also stated that they would be faithful in living out their marriage vows by growing in relationship with God. He then asked each of them if they would love the Lord with all of who they are, as a way to reinforce their vows.
Following the rings, Heather and Zach both stepped through the arch and went to a table by themselves to share in communion, as a way to reinforce the meaning of the covenant into which they were entering. Pastor Jim invited the assembly to pray for them.
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| The communion table |
When they came back to the front of the assembly, we sang "Be Thou my Vision". It is one of Zach's favorite hymns, and, as he explained before the ceremony, he made sure that we sang five verses, including one I had never heard of before, beginning with "Be Thou my battleshield, sword for the fight..."
Then, Pastor Jim, at the request of Heather and Zach, explained the Gospel message and invited those in the assembly to make a profession of faith.
And then came the moment when he invited them to kiss, and they almost did it too soon. Since I was standing to Zach's side, all I could see was his back as he and Heather kissed, but I was exuberant nonetheless, as Pastor Jim then presented Mr. and Mrs. Mashburn, and we cheered.
Then it came the recessional, and I did my escort duties in reverse.
The ceremony then gave way to the cocktail hour, from 6-7 PM. For the next few minutes, Mark got more photos of the wedding party and family members. Once he got the photos, I went into the banquet room to enjoy some appetizers, which included a veggie tray, bruschetta, and meatballs.
Shortly before 7 PM, all those in the wedding party lined up at the entrance to the banquet room. Then the DJ introduced us as we made our entrances. We gathered around the cake table, where Heather and Zach cut the cake and gave each other pieces.
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| Here is the wedding cake as it appears during the cocktail hour. It was a yellow cake inside. |
Soon after, it was time for remarks.
The DJ invited Teresa to the microphone to give the maid of honor speech. She gave tribute to Heather as a great friend from college, and shared a story that following college, when they had gone their separate ways, Heather, in another state, insisted that Teresa needed a cake for her birthday and made it happen. Teresa ended her remarks by saying, "Zach, you're a lucky guy."
Subsequently, the DJ invited me to the microphone for the best man speech. I walked to the microphone aware of a flood of memories with Zach, which gave me so much material, to the point I could have easily talked right into the designated dinnertime.
But I had a few notes ready that I jotted down early in the day, and I started by saying that my remarks were beginning deja vu to Teresa's, because I also met Zach in college. We first met about 2 weeks before moving to ValpU. On the morning of Friday, August 7, 2009, I met him at Chicago Union Station as he walked off the City of New Orleans train--and I made a point to sing the name "City of New Orleans", like in the song. We spent a day sightseeing in Chicago. It was clear from that first day together that we were going to hit it off so well.
I stated that before I went to college, my Mom prayed I would get a good roommate, and then I turned to Zach and said "You were a wonderful answer to that prayer."
Zach is a friend who I could confide in, as I opened up like never before in my life as we grew in friendship. I could go to him for consolation when I was in a difficult situation, especially when I was so terribly homesick, just as he turned to me for consolation when he needed it. We could commiserate over physics class, like i-hats, j-hats, coordinate systems, and torque pronounced by Professor Stanislaus in a most intriguing accent. Then there were also all the technicalities of Introduction to Meteorological Observation and Analysis class at 8:15 on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. And I was intrigued by his enthusiasm for taco-ism.
He was also someone who affirmed me as a person of faith, because of his own embrace of faith. I remarked that I was so inspired by what they wrote on the homepage of the wedding website, that they discerned God was calling them to marriage, which is a covenantal relationship meant to be grounded in faith, a relationship with God. They truly have demonstrated that they have what it takes to have a successful marriage, because they are committed to putting Christ at the center of their relationship, grounding it in the solid rock of faith. They have truly opened themselves to the love God first showed us, and continues to make known to our world, now as Heather and Zach live out their marriage covenant. And so I concluded my remarks with an encouraging word to go forth and bless the world.
And then, I went to my spot at the table, picked up my champagne glass, and offered a toast to the happy couple. As I returned to my seat, Zach reached out his hand to shake mine, in what I saw was a gesture of deep gratitude for the tribute I offered them. I was so pleased with how my speech unfolded. Since I tend to be verbose, I was glad that I could concisely capture the spirit of so many memories to offer them tribute, and furthermore to start on a note of faith and end on a note of faith.
Heather's dad Paul subsequently offered remarks. Following him, Pastor Jim offered remarks, expressing how wonderful it was in such challenging times to see young people like Heather and Zach do something so wondrous as committing themselves to each other in marriage. He then offered a prayer. And after it, we feasted.
First came salad, and the server also took drink orders. Then, we had quite a great spread of food: mostaccioli with sausage, beef pot roast, chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, and green beans, as you can see on my plate in the photo below. They did a great job with all the food choices for the celebration.
Following dinner, our attention turned to the dance floor with the first dances. I was so delighted that Heather and Zach's first dance had as its soundtrack "Once upon a Dream" from Sleeping Beauty., which you can see in the two photos below.
Following Heather's dance with her dad, the floor was opened for everyone to dance. I approached Teresa and asked if I could have the honor of dancing with the maid of honor, and she gladly accepted.
The merriment continued with a great repertoire of music to accompany more dancing. At one point, Zach and some of his martial arts students got on the dance floor to do a synchronized routine. There were also the customary tosses of the bride's bouquet and the garter. There was also a photo booth, which was set up to take multiple consecutive pictures so people could do creative poses, which we could then put in a scrapbook. And at the request of Heather and Zach, we did coloring pages as a keepsake for them. Mine is in the photo below.
At 10 PM, the DJ announced that Heather and Zach were going to be sent off, but also noted the secret that they would come right back. So we all lined up in the hallway outside the banquet room with bells on the ends of sticks and created a canopy for them as they walked out.
Back in the banquet room, the servers brought out a taco bar, as you can see in the photo below, which is absolutely something that speaks to who Zach is.
After a little while, Roy, Rogenique, and I got ready to leave together and we went around to say our farewells. As part of their itinerary for the next part of their vacation time, they came back to stay with me in Oak Park. It was a rather temperate night out as we departed. We rang in the New Year as I was driving on I-94 on the South Side of Chicago, near Chicago State University.
Upon reaching my home, we got in, got settled, and then went to sleep. Rogenique and Roy ended up spending all of New Year's Day in Oak Park with us since they rescheduled their canceled flight for Sunday, which was a wonderful way to carry out the joyful and merry spirit of celebration we shared the day prior. Before the snow came down in great intensity, I drove them around for a couple of hours to see the sights in Riverside, Oak Park, and River Forest, some that have historic significance, and places significant to me.
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| Here are the three of us posing for a selfie in Avila while in Riverside. |
Once we got back home, we enjoyed a lunch of tamales, while the snowfall intensified.
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| Mom or Dad photographed the three of us enjoying our tamales. |
It was the first time Rogenique, who grew up in southern California, had ever experienced a significant snowfall event. A little while after lunch, we went out front, and Rogenique danced around a little in the snow, and then we built a small snowman, as seen in the photo below.
Then it was back inside to get cozy and stay warm. The following morning, on Epiphany Sunday, I drove them to O'Hare Airport for their flight south to Florida for visiting his parents in Sebring.
There was indeed so much over these couple of days that stirred me deep inside. And how wonderful that all of us who gathered for Heather and Zach's wedding will come annually to New Year's Eve to mark the end of each calendar year, and also rejoice in Heather and Zach as they mark another year of marriage that began on such a lovely day.
It was so appropriate to have such a time of celebration in the Christmas Season. First of all, Christmas is so much about relationships, since God sent His Son to us so that He could relate to us more closely. I am delighted that I could be present for Zach and Heather for such a special day in their lives. Zach is certainly blessed to be married to Heather, certainly because of her embrace of faith. I also remember group phone calls with our friend group in the months after they started dating. I would hear Heather's voice in the background on Zach's end of the line, and I would think to myself how she sounded like such a pleasant person.
And it was so wonderful to continue experiencing friendship with Zach in such a special way after all the experiences that he and I shared together in college. It was clear from that first day together when we were sightseeing in Chicago that our relationship was going to be great. And I felt like being friends with him allowed me to remake myself in meaningful ways. I could open up to him like with no other friend I had before in life, most especially on the day we both moved to college, and my emotions welled up intensely because I was so seriously homesick. He continued to offer me consolation when I needed it as my homesickness continued, and through other stresses and challenges in college.
We shared a lot in classes, as we were both meteorology majors. We sat through the same storm chasing videos in Severe Storms class, and then had the experience of actual storm chasing just a week or so after the semester with that class concluded.
Zach was also a friend I could share my joys with, like when I had a "fun hangover" after participating in Trivia Night at St. Teresa's. He also collaborated with Josh, another mutual friend on our residence hall floor, to get me cake and balloons when I celebrated my birthday for the first time during my college years. I was so delighted that I ate the cake, even though I had already brushed my teeth. And it was also fun sharing Stuart Shepherd's Stoplight videos with their clever political commentary.
In those first few weeks of college, Zach remarked that we had "lucked out" getting assigned together. But my relationship with him reinforces why I agree firmly with the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi: "In my experience, there's no such thing as luck." And in light of my Mom's prayers, I know that we were blessed to be together, which was a mostly random assignment, except for the fact that we both selected the "Study-intensive" accommodations option on our housing form. And we had such a good rooming situation being together that we decided to stay together when we made our housing selections for the subsequent two years.
Even after going our separate ways, our strong bonds of friendship have continued. Indeed, it was an honor and delight for me that he attended my master's graduation ceremony when I obtained my MLIS degree, along with Dan and Ann Ruggaber, who brought him there with them. And then, with the wedding day, it was like bringing our friendship full circle, back to northwest Indiana, in the same region where we went to college and our friendship flourished, certainly also along with the experiences we shared with Matthew and Roy, making the joys of friendship so much a part of the wedding. Yes, indeed, like the song, we are friends for life.
Oh what a joy it was to celebrate such a close friend on that wedding day, and very much in keeping with the spirit of Christmas Season, for Christmas Day, and the other feasts of the season, celebrate how God made Himself known to us through Christ in the world. And in these feasts, we realize that God continues to make Himself present in the world. He is now doing so through the marriage covenant relationship of Heather and Zach.
It reminds me of the words attributed to St. Teresa of Avila: "Christ has no body now but yours. No hands, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which he looks compassion on the world. Yours are the feet with which He walks to do good. Yours are the hands with which He blesses all the world. Christ has no body now on Earth but yours."
A song version of these words concludes with this verse: "Through every gift give back to those in need; as Christ has blessed, so now be His blessing. With every gift, a benediction be to the people of God."
Truly, Heather and Zach are a blessing to the world, starting by how they blessed all of us gathered for their wedding day.
Not too long ago on Relevant Radio, I heard a discussion in which someone mentioned that the idea of a woman and a man committing themselves to each other in marriage for life is crazy, but that's what makes it so beautiful. The spouses can count on each other because they bind themselves to vows that are so strong.
God first showed us love through Christ, ultimately in the Paschal Mystery of His death and resurrection. God has filled married couples with that love. And in committing themselves to each other in the name of that Love, they show God's love to the world, and show that He is still present and alive among us. In that regard, this wedding day had a transcendent quality to it: Seeing Heather and Zach together is truly a picture of Heaven on Earth, even as it is a sign of Immanuel, God with us.
Glory to God in the Highest!
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| Here are Heather and Zach, shortly after the ceremony, as Mr. and Mrs. Mashburn. |
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| Here is Zach and I posing, as I'm holding my taco plate, taken by a fellow guest. |
