The Fourth Day for One Decade

For a variety of reasons, my time at Valparaiso University was an extraordinary experience. Many of those reasons were apparent within the first few months, during which I saw many good choices bear great fruit.

One of the best choices I made was to be part of the St. Teresa's community, whose members really reached out and showed me God's love.  It was in that spirit that one day in November, Kathy Jackson, formerly on staff at St. Teresa's, invited me to participate in the Kairos Retreat.

I looked over the form she gave me, and it gave a rather vague description about a retreat with presentations by college students.  I was open to going on a retreat, so I signed up.  When I brought back the completed form and my payment to Kathy, she got super excited.

After classes on Friday, January 15, 2010, I packed up and headed over to St. Teresa's.  Community members volunteered to drive retreatants from Valparaiso to the Lindenwood Retreat Center in Donaldson, IN, where we would spend the weekend.

Upon arrival, Father Kevin, then the pastor at St. Teresa's, was there to greet us, which included tossing a couple of snowballs in our direction.  In the past, he had come for part of the Kairos Retreat weekend, especially for celebrating sacraments, but this time, he would spend the whole weekend with us.  I recall some remark he made about how spending the whole weekend on the Kairos Retreat was like a "birthday gift" to himself, as he had turned 50 just days before.  It meant a lot to have him care about us so much that he would be there the entire time.  (Later on in the weekend, someone read a letter from Dale Melczek, then Bishop of the Diocese of Gary, who affirmed us for participating in the retreat.)

I chatted with fellow retreatants and the student leaders as we got settled that Friday evening.  I sensed something amazing was going to happen. 

As we started, we were instructed to hand over all time pieces and mobile devices, which were to be stored in plastic bags.  The idea of Kairos is that we're on God's time, opening ourselves up to His presence, and so we, as retreatants, weren't to be keeping track of time.  I was a bit uncomfortable handing over my watch, which has great sentimental value, but I was able to speak about its meaning later on, which assuaged my concerns.

The first presentation was a good opportunity to reflect on why we came on this retreat, which we discussed in our small groups afterwards.  My group came up with the name "Tree of Life".

The second presenter shared very openly about some more serious matters in his life as part of the topic "Know Thyself", and that really set the tone for the weekend, about being open and vulnerable as we probed deep within ourselves to know ourselves and better examine our relationship with God.

This sentiment was especially true during the third talk, "Life Map", which focused on sharing the highs and lows of our life experiences.  And this continued through all the other talks given throughout the weekend.

In addition to the presentations and our small group discussions, we also had times of meditative prayer.  We attended Daily Mass on Saturday morning.  And we opened ourselves up to God's healing power during a time of reconciliation on Saturday evening.  When we returned to our group's room after reconciliation, Nathan, one of the adult leaders, bid us good night, remarking how it had been "an emotional day".  Hearing him say that struck me as how the efforts of the retreat leaders really bore fruit in making for such an intense experience.

Indeed, the Kairos Retreat was an intense experience like I had never had before.  It's part of my personality to reflect about myself, and that's what this weekend was all about, as I probed very deeply like never before.

The next day, Sunday, January 17, we had the opportunity to meet with our groups one final time to offer affirmations of one another based on the experience we shared during the weekend.  Before dismissing us to meet with our groups, Nathan said we could take a tissue box if needed.

We definitely had great bonding experiences, not just within our groups, but also with all the others present on the retreat.  Besides the times of serious reflection, we also had fun together, putting on skits, and playing games, like when Father Kevin led us in his extreme version of "Simon Says".

At the end of the weekend, we were each given a small wooden cross.  It was presented to us with the words, "Christ counts on you", and we were to respond, "And I on Him."  I was in such an intense state of mind that I actually knelt down when presented with my cross, and then I stood up and shook the hand of the person who presented my cross, who I believe was Tony, one of my small group leaders.

We also departed with other gifts, like a CD with all the songs chosen by each speaker before and after her/his presentation, and we all left with notes that we wrote to each other throughout the weekend.

It's common for people to leave a retreat feeling a spiritual "high", which may settle down after a few days.  But given the intense nature of this retreat, I left in an intensified spiritual "high" that I physically felt within me, and it lasted for days.  I remember after I returned to campus, I checked my e-mail for the first time since before leaving for the retreat, and I was reminded of all the things that were going to happen in the coming week.  Under normal circumstances, I might have felt overwhelmed, but given the intense power that was burning within me, I just couldn't bring myself to worry about it like I would usually.  Indeed, I had a powerful encounter with God on the retreat that would have a major impact.  I still felt it about a month later when I joined a reunion of our Kairos group at a celebration of Daily Mass, the day after Ash Wednesday.  DUring the homily, Father Kevin invited us to form a circle, and he opened up the floor for us to reflect on the experience, and I shared about what I had felt in those initial days afterwards and further on in the month.

Toward the end of the retreat, we were told that we had spent three days on this Kairos Retreat, and all the time of our life afterwards was the "Fourth Day".

As of today, I've spent a full decade in the "Fourth Day".  In that decade, I've come to appreciate even more what Kairos time is all about.  We sometimes refer to time in terms of the Greek word "chronos", which is a specific time of day, a certain period of time, or measurements of time like hours, days, months, and years.  The term "Kairos" refers to a sense of time in which we have critical moments, and in the sense of faith, those moments are about encounters with God.

There's no doubt that the Kairos Retreat was a weekend in which I had many Kairos moments in encountering God by more deeply pondering who I am and my relationship with Him.  And as I look back, I think that's the value I can continue to find living in this "Fourth Day", as I open myself up in chronos time to Kairos time, in having those profound encounters with God's presence, which are all around me.

Here is a "selfie" of sorts I photographed showing the Cross I received 10 years ago along with the Kairos t-shirt.