The Transcendency of Matrimony

My experience of the sacramental life of the Roman Catholic Church broadened in a significant way on Saturday, October 23, 2021:  On that day, for the first time in my life, I had the opportunity to witness the sacrament of matrimony at the Wedding Mass of my good college friend Tyler and his bride, Leslie.  I had experienced the other 6 sacraments, including Holy Orders, in some form during my life, and this wedding was a chance to experience the remaining sacrament for me, matrimony.  And their wedding was the 4th wedding I've attended in my life.

I know Tyler starting from the weekend when we moved to Valparaiso University to start our first year back in 2009.  I got to see him regularly through participation in Republican Club, Christ College (the honors college), and at St. Teresa's Roman Catholic Student Center.  And I saw him often in the residence halls since we were both in Lankenau Hall our first year, and then in Wehrenberg Hall during the other years.

I kept in contact with him in the years after graduation, visiting him a few times in Madison, WI, where he moved for work.  Back in July 2020, I went to visit him before he moved to southern California.  It was during that visit that I met Leslie when we attended Mass at St. Thomas Aquinas Parish.

I was so excited when they got engaged less than a year later, and then Tyler invited me to the wedding.  The anticipation went to a whole new level for me when earlier in the month, Tyler asked me to serve as a lector, for reading 2.

The selection was from Ephesians 5, in which St. Paul directs wives and husbands about how to live in their married relationship, as a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church.  It's a great passage, especially in light of the words of verse 32, "This is a great mystery, but I speak of Christ and the Church."  I eagerly prepared for it during the two weeks before the wedding, aiming to use the proclamation of the words and phrases to speak God's message for the occasion.

My college friend Matthew came in the Friday before the wedding.  We went to downtown Chicago to walk around and enjoy the sights.  We then met with Roy, and had lunch together.  Then we went to meet Roy's wife Rogenique, and enjoyed a walk along the Chicago lakefront.  Matthew then came back home with me, and we had a light dinner before he went to the hotel for the night.  The fellowship in the spirit of great friendship we enjoyed that Friday set the tone well for the following day.

About noon on that Saturday, I got in Avila and drove to Holy Trinity Polish (Roman) Catholic Church on the Near West Side of Chicago.  It's a beautiful church, with every square inch covered in religious artwork, though certainly, it couldn't compete with the beauty of the bride.

Not only was it great to celebrate Leslie and Tyler's wedding, but it was also wonderful to see college friends, especially Matthew and Roy, along with Roy's wife Rogenique.

As I stood proclaiming at the ambo, with Leslie and Tyler to my left, seated in front of the altar, the words I had prepared for nearly two weeks took on a whole new meaning.  St. Paul directs that the wife should be subordinate to her husband, and the husband should pour himself out for his wife.  But these are not arbitrary commands.  They are directives that reflect the greater reality of Christ and His Church.  Standing at the ambo, and looking out at those gathered, especially Leslie and Tyler, put the reading in a whole new light.  As I proclaimed, I felt the movement of the Holy Spirit to emphasize how the actions of wife and husband reflect Christ, like the phrase in verse 23, "...just as Christ is head of the church...", and the phrase in verse 25, "...even as Christ loved the Church..."

The celebrant priest spoke so well in his homily when he said symbols speak powerfully:  Leslie and Tyler are a symbol of the relationship of Christ and His Church.  He also stated that unlike contracts, where people give goods and services, a married couple enters into a covenant, in which they give of themselves to each other.  Their marriage speaks to how, as the priest mentioned, the greatest symbol of love isn't the heart, but the Cross, from which Christ made the ultimate offering of Himself.  And it was inspiring to see how Leslie and Tyler care about their faith, which was emphasized multiple times in the remarks made at the wedding banquet that evening, and how that will contribute to an amazing marriage relationship for them.

Once the wedding Mass ended, as the wedding party posed for photos, the other guests lingered to converse, as I did with my friends.  

We continued that spirit of fellowship and celebraiton at the wedding banquet, held at a banquet hall in Palatine.  It was probably the first time I had been to a wedding banquet at a banquet hall.  There was a fine selection of food, and then some great festivities, including some Polish wedding customs, and a Polka band.

As I reflect back on the occasion, there was something glorious and transcendent about the wedding festivities of that day.  It's astounding to consider the seriousness of Leslie and Tyler's promises to commit their very selves to each other for life.  But that's what makes their marriage, and all marriages, so beautiful.

When I greeted Tyler at the wedding banquet, I shared with him my first memory of him:  He won a "Rock, Paper, Scissors" tournament with other residents of the 5th floor of Lankenau the evening of the day we moved to ValpU.  His prize was a sticker that read, "I won something that doesn't matter."

I then gave him a sticker that read, "I won something that matters: sacramental marriage life."  I gave a sticker with that message to Leslie as well.

Indeed, Leslie and Tyler are winners because they have pledged themselves to each other for life, and in doing so, they manifest God's loving presence among us.

Here is the St. Joseph altar inside Holy Trinity Church.  There is a statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, displaying the ultimate Love of God, which Leslie and Tyler now manifest as a married couple.

Grandma Dottie's Birthday and Timeless Principles

Joyfully I celebrate my Grandma Dottie's birthday today as she turns 90, making it time to party like it's 1931 all over again!  Besides celebrating a great quantity of years, I celebrate the great quality of those years.

My family had a small lunch gathering yesterday to celebrate the big occasion.  I offered a few remarks, which I now share in writing here on my blog.

From what I remember, she was born in Sweet Home Chicago, a city home to an unusual piece of art that Pablo Picasso gifted to the city--and Señor Picasso turned 50 the day Grandma Dottie was born.

Notably, 90 years ago yesterday, on October 24, 1931, the day before Grandma Dottie was born, the George Washington Bridge opened, connecting New York and New Jersey.  I've never seen it personally, much less crossed it, but I imagine it's done its job well as a sturdy bridge for 9 decades, providing access across the Hudson River.

There's so much reason to celebrate Grandma as a truly wonderful person.  She was a devoted wife to my grandfather Martin, and a hardworking mom to my mom, Aunt Terri, Uncle Brian, and Uncle Bernie as she raised them.  It was during those years she developed a strong ability to spot a good deal.  And the love she offered in all those relationships she has continued to pour out as a grandma to me, my brother Eric, and my cousins Megan, Greg, and Josh, and then to her great-grandchildren, Ava, Emma, and Micah.

I am glad that I have been the recipient of the love she shows in her own special way, which I often experienced in visits between the two of us.

It has been a custom during our visits to play Scrabble. Based on my speculation in a recent conversation between us at her birthday lunch yesterday, we likely started that custom when I was in middle school, and so we've played at least 20 Scrabble games, which usually happens at least once per year.

Those games started at the home on Blacksmith Drive in Wheaton.  They continued when she moved to Lexington Square in Lombard.  In fact, not only do we celebrate her birthday in October, but we also celebrate the anniversary of the day she moved there which was 17 years ago.  It was a fine day when we gathered together to assist in that process, on Saturday, October 23, 2004.  And notice how October 23 was on a Saturday this year in 2021.  Again, another example of a great quantity of years speaking to a great quality of years.  I have gained a great sense of the quality of her experience at Lexington during my visits with her there, which have often included the company of her many fabulous friends.

This month, back on October 15, also marked the 70th anniversary of the debut of the popular TV sitcom I Love Lucy.  I thank Grandma Dottie for introducing me to the Queen of Comedy, when she gave me a tape of clips from the show, likely as part of a celebration of the 50th anniversary of its debut back in 2001.  I didn't think much of it before then, but once I watched those clips, I was hooked, and I said to Grandma that I wanted to watch more.

Her favorite episode is when Lucy does a TV commercial for Vitameatavegamin--and she won't have to "pop" out of the party for this celebration!

It's fitting that Grandma would introduce me to Lucille Ball, because when I was a young boy and I stayed for a few hours at the house on Highland Avenue in Oak Park for a "babysitting" visit, we would get into laughing fits, and I would roll off the couch.

Yes, I celebrate today giving thanks for Grandma, for the gifts of her love, the laughs we've shared, and the longevity of her life, and her time at Lexington.

Faith has grown to become an important part of her life, summed up in principles that last longer than 90 years and are truly timeless, as expressed in Psalm 90:1 NIV:  "Lord, You have been our refuge through all generations."  And so we sing in the words of Grandma's favorite hymn, "Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."

Indeed, Grandma's life recognizes that God is faithful and His faithfulness is everlasting.

So we give thanks to God for how He has been at work in Grandma Dottie's life.

Happy Birthday Grandma!

May you be blessed today and always by God's great faithfulness and love.

Mom took the above photo of Grandma and me. I took the photo below of Grandma with her birthday cake, a raspberry orange zucchini cake made by Uncle Bernie.

Above is the final result of our recent Scrabble game back on September 26. Below is the score.

The Constant Working of the Spirit for 16 Years

October 15 marked a true Kairos experience in my life, the day of my Confirmation.  I have celebrated it like my own birthday because it has proved so significant as a culmination of a path that led me to that day and for how it has shaped the path I have journeyed since then.

I listened to an episode of The Inner Life on Relevant Radio recently, in which there was a discussion about baptism and Confirmation.  One major idea in the discussion was how these sacraments awaken us to the reality of God's living presence, which comes to dwell in us as His Chosen People.

Indeed, I have regarded the experience of Confirmation as a lived experience that persists.  

So coming to this anniversary once again invites me to consider what Confirmation means for me.  As I reflect on the occasion, I recognize at that moment, I was sealed with the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, which I receive so that I can bear the fruit of the Spirit in such a way so that God is manifest in the world.

And in the midst of life's challenges, the Holy Spirit provides consolation that sustains me to face those challenges and continue the important work.

Furthermore, the Holy Spirit works in me to build upon the foundation laid in the initiation sacraments.

Notably, October 15 is the Feast Day of St. Teresa of Avila, the patron saint of the Church I attended during my years at Valparaiso University.  During those years, I came to realize how much more there was to learn about faith and new perspectives that come with that learning.

I have come to see learning in a whole new light as a Religious Education teacher, now for my 9th year.  I've gotten off to a great start for this year.  Certainly, it's good to be back in the classroom together.  I'm also blessed that I've been able to establish a good relationship with the students in my class and connect with them so well right away.

And I'm pleased with opportunities to continue connecting with my former students.  I went to a bake sale at the Oak Park Farmers' Market recently, held by the female cross country team at OPRFHS.  I was pleased to see a few of my students who are part of that team, and to have the chance to buy baked goods and support the team.

I marvel at how the circle of life moves us along, as I reconnect with former students and connect with new students, and engage with each new group in new and amazing ways.

During our second class this year, we went on a field trip to tour the church.  As I walked them around and showed them different parts of the space, I was amazed at all the great questions they spontaneously asked about other things they noticed beyond what I was mentioning.

One aspect of faith I've appreciated is the Roman Catholic understanding of how God is incarnational.  He came to us physically in Christ, and there are so many tangible elements to our experience of faith, like the visible aspects of the sacraments, such as the water of baptism, and the Bread and Wine of the Eucharist.

Furthermore, as an RE teacher, I've come to see religion connecting with various aspects of my life and the world around me.  One of my customs that I've developed for the first class of a new RE year is to share about what I did over the summer, and connect it with aspects of faith, as a way to see how God is present everywhere.

Indeed, teaching RE has kept me in touch with that sense of faith springing fresh and ever new as the Spirit continues to be at work, making God manifest all around me.