My experience of the sacramental life of the Roman Catholic Church broadened in a significant way on Saturday, October 23, 2021: On that day, for the first time in my life, I had the opportunity to witness the sacrament of matrimony at the Wedding Mass of my good college friend Tyler and his bride, Leslie. I had experienced the other 6 sacraments, including Holy Orders, in some form during my life, and this wedding was a chance to experience the remaining sacrament for me, matrimony. And their wedding was the 4th wedding I've attended in my life.
I know Tyler starting from the weekend when we moved to Valparaiso University to start our first year back in 2009. I got to see him regularly through participation in Republican Club, Christ College (the honors college), and at St. Teresa's Roman Catholic Student Center. And I saw him often in the residence halls since we were both in Lankenau Hall our first year, and then in Wehrenberg Hall during the other years.
I kept in contact with him in the years after graduation, visiting him a few times in Madison, WI, where he moved for work. Back in July 2020, I went to visit him before he moved to southern California. It was during that visit that I met Leslie when we attended Mass at St. Thomas Aquinas Parish.
I was so excited when they got engaged less than a year later, and then Tyler invited me to the wedding. The anticipation went to a whole new level for me when earlier in the month, Tyler asked me to serve as a lector, for reading 2.
The selection was from Ephesians 5, in which St. Paul directs wives and husbands about how to live in their married relationship, as a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church. It's a great passage, especially in light of the words of verse 32, "This is a great mystery, but I speak of Christ and the Church." I eagerly prepared for it during the two weeks before the wedding, aiming to use the proclamation of the words and phrases to speak God's message for the occasion.
My college friend Matthew came in the Friday before the wedding. We went to downtown Chicago to walk around and enjoy the sights. We then met with Roy, and had lunch together. Then we went to meet Roy's wife Rogenique, and enjoyed a walk along the Chicago lakefront. Matthew then came back home with me, and we had a light dinner before he went to the hotel for the night. The fellowship in the spirit of great friendship we enjoyed that Friday set the tone well for the following day.
About noon on that Saturday, I got in Avila and drove to Holy Trinity Polish (Roman) Catholic Church on the Near West Side of Chicago. It's a beautiful church, with every square inch covered in religious artwork, though certainly, it couldn't compete with the beauty of the bride.
Not only was it great to celebrate Leslie and Tyler's wedding, but it was also wonderful to see college friends, especially Matthew and Roy, along with Roy's wife Rogenique.
As I stood proclaiming at the ambo, with Leslie and Tyler to my left, seated in front of the altar, the words I had prepared for nearly two weeks took on a whole new meaning. St. Paul directs that the wife should be subordinate to her husband, and the husband should pour himself out for his wife. But these are not arbitrary commands. They are directives that reflect the greater reality of Christ and His Church. Standing at the ambo, and looking out at those gathered, especially Leslie and Tyler, put the reading in a whole new light. As I proclaimed, I felt the movement of the Holy Spirit to emphasize how the actions of wife and husband reflect Christ, like the phrase in verse 23, "...just as Christ is head of the church...", and the phrase in verse 25, "...even as Christ loved the Church..."
The celebrant priest spoke so well in his homily when he said symbols speak powerfully: Leslie and Tyler are a symbol of the relationship of Christ and His Church. He also stated that unlike contracts, where people give goods and services, a married couple enters into a covenant, in which they give of themselves to each other. Their marriage speaks to how, as the priest mentioned, the greatest symbol of love isn't the heart, but the Cross, from which Christ made the ultimate offering of Himself. And it was inspiring to see how Leslie and Tyler care about their faith, which was emphasized multiple times in the remarks made at the wedding banquet that evening, and how that will contribute to an amazing marriage relationship for them.
Once the wedding Mass ended, as the wedding party posed for photos, the other guests lingered to converse, as I did with my friends.
We continued that spirit of fellowship and celebraiton at the wedding banquet, held at a banquet hall in Palatine. It was probably the first time I had been to a wedding banquet at a banquet hall. There was a fine selection of food, and then some great festivities, including some Polish wedding customs, and a Polka band.
As I reflect back on the occasion, there was something glorious and transcendent about the wedding festivities of that day. It's astounding to consider the seriousness of Leslie and Tyler's promises to commit their very selves to each other for life. But that's what makes their marriage, and all marriages, so beautiful.
When I greeted Tyler at the wedding banquet, I shared with him my first memory of him: He won a "Rock, Paper, Scissors" tournament with other residents of the 5th floor of Lankenau the evening of the day we moved to ValpU. His prize was a sticker that read, "I won something that doesn't matter."
I then gave him a sticker that read, "I won something that matters: sacramental marriage life." I gave a sticker with that message to Leslie as well.
Indeed, Leslie and Tyler are winners because they have pledged themselves to each other for life, and in doing so, they manifest God's loving presence among us.
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