Worthiness Under the Roof and Before Him

I ponder anew the working of the Holy Spirit in my life as I celebrate the 19th anniversary of my Confirmation today.

It's one of the most important days of my life because so much led up to it, making it a day that marked the point in my life when I truly owned my faith.  Furthermore, it sent me forth in the Holy Spirit to be empowered for the mission God gives all of us the faithful.

One memory of how I have lived out this Confirmation was back when I was fresh out of college.  I responded to an opportunity to assist with the Confirmation retreat held for the 2013 group.

I brought my experience full circle by going with the group to the Carmelite Spiritual Center in Darien, IL, where I had gone for a retreat 3 weeks before my Confirmation.

After spending a few hours there, we returned to Ascension Parish for the Saturday evening Mass.  Right before we partake of communion at Mass, we pray, "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word, and my soul shall be healed".  That prayer echoes the words of the centurion, who requests that Jesus come to heal his servant, yet doesn't feel worthy to have Him come to his house.

One part of that retreat that stands out to me was the realization that I had transitioned from a stage in life in which I was under authority and expected to obey directives to a stage in which I was the one with authority and directing the young people, in that retreat group as well as in the RE class I had started teaching earlier that month.

So praying those words based on the story of the centurion, who had authority over others, yet humbly realized he was under God's authority, made that prayer powerful in a new way.  I was still under God, called to obey Him.  Yet I realized He was now giving me a new way to live my mission by directing these young people and accompanying them in their journey of faith.  It was humbling to realize the gift God had given me of the opportunity to make an impact in the lives of these young people.

In the 11 years since that day, whenever I attend Mass and we reach that part, I think of that experience on September 28, 2013.  It speaks to how I have taken the great gift of faith handed on to me and live it out by handing it on to the young people I have taught in RE class, and those I've interacted with in Confirmation preparation meetings.

Truly it's a marvelous working of the Holy Spirit.

At that Mass on Saturday, September 28, 2013, I had a Kairo moment sitting in this part of Ascension Church when we prayed, "Lord, I am not worthy..."