The Decade in the Spirit's Seal

I experienced an especially important occasion in my life 10 years ago this day:  It was at approximately 6 PM, on the evening of Saturday, October 15, 2005, when I stood before Bishop Kane, who conferred on me the sacrament of Confirmation, sealing me in the Holy Spirit with the sacred Chrism oil, before the altar under the dome at Ascension Church.

It is a day and a moment that I have celebrated every year since, like it’s my own birthday.  I’ve sensed its importance since that time because it was a crossroads moment in my life, when the foundation of faith laid in the childhood years before met the years of when I went forth living out my faith in whole new bold way from the seal I placed upon me.

My parents were devoted to Christian faith, and handed that on to me throughout my childhood.  They definitely fulfilled well their duty that they pledged themselves to when they brought me to the baptismal font at St. Cornelius Parish, where I died to myself and started my journey of life in Christ—an occasion which I’ve started celebrating with more prominence in recent years.  We’d read from the Bible and Keys for Kids, a kids-focused devotional booklet all, the time, from which came conversations about what faith means.  I went to classes in which I learned about faith, Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, and even AWANA and VBS at the evangelical free Calvary Memorial Church (CMC).  We attended Church regularly.  As a child, I sometimes had trouble appreciating the experience of Mass, my earliest memories of which were at the gym of St. Giles School, where the St. Giles Family Mass was held.  But there were other moments when something sparked in me, especially in the process of preparing for my first communion, held in that gym, as well as in CCD.

When I reached 5^th grade, something sparked in me that made me start appreciating my faith even more, owning it for myself, though I can’t exactly pinpoint what it was.  I know for sure that it accelerated noticeably when I started at Julian Middle School, where my faith life really flourished, as I mentioned in my reflection of my10-year anniversary of 8th grade graduation.  And it all started thanks to the Jewish people, who I met in large numbers, seemingly as I turned every corner.  Hearing them talk so openly about being Jewish helped me not only learn about Judaism, but also caused me turn and think more about my own religious practices, and what they mean for my personally, especially as Judaism enriched my sense of faith.  I furthermore grew in understanding my faith when seeking to engage in meaningful dialogue with those outside of Christianity.

Then, in 8^th grade, I started the nearly year-long preparation process for Confirmation, which seemed a natural step, given the faith-filled environment in my family.  Yet the seriousness of this step, having to apply myself in this preparation, strongly dawned on me at the meeting held before the enrollment Mass on November 20, 2004.  But I knew I could do it, based on what my parents wrote on the form signing me up for Confirmation preparation, as they spoke to how I had a yearning to learn about faith, which signaled how I was embracing it for myself, and so was ready to be sealed in it.  While this could have been seen as something that probably happens more often than we like to think it does, that parents sign their children up just because it’s something they’re supposed to do, I sense that I had something more going for me.

It was also as I started the process that I made what I consider one of the best decisions of my life: choosing my Uncle Bernie to be my Confirmation sponsor.  When considering others beyond my parents to fulfill this role, I thought of Uncle Bernie at some point.  At that time in my life, I didn’t think I knew him all that well, and wasn’t sure if that should be a deterrent.  But Dad suggested that selecting Uncle Bernie would give me opportunity to get to know him better.  And that certainly has happened in the past decade.  He and I have formed a special, deep relationship, and I’m very grateful for his presence in my life, sharing my joys, and providing a good listening ear as I faced struggles, too.

As I wrote in a narrative I composed for an assignment in my high school freshmen literature class a few months after my Confirmation, the process was mostly about learning about Roman Catholicism, building the head knowledge, through the learning at the preparation sessions, as well as the reflection worksheets I did on the Sunday and Holy Day readings.  But there were more practical elements involved, like completing a minimum of 15 service hours.  I fulfilled some of them by helping stuff bulletins during Lent with special inserts, cutting Campbell’s soup labels, and even making PADS lunches once.  And from our learning about the Gifts of the Spirit came one meeting when we had four different speakers share with us about how the Gifts of the Spirit have been manifest in their lives.  I had similar conversations with various members of my family as I compiled a Gifts scrapbook.

I didn’t really begin to sense the power of Confirmation, working in my heart, and not just my head, until the Confirmation retreat.  At this point in the process, three weeks before the ceremony, the focus shifted to what it means to live out Confirmation.  The speaker during the morning part of the retreat, Mr. Johnson, very eloquently talked about what it means to live out love toward another person:  He shared a clip from the CBS program 60 Minutes about a Scottish doctor who helped a Peruvian boy get the surgeries needed to correct facial disfigurements.  Mr. Johnson also shared about how his older brother showed him love in something that happened on Halloween night when they were growing up, and how that meant so much for him, even years later when he watched that same older brother die of cancer.  He summed up his talk by saying Confirmation is a public confession that I will love others in the name of Jesus and in the communion of saints.  When later in the retreat we wrote letters to our future selves, I wrote that insight, and it still speaks to me today.

Then came the day of the Confirmation Mass itself, and I deeply felt the momentous nature of the occasion, right to the moment when I walked up to the altar and stood before Bishop Francis Kane with Uncle Bernie at my side.  He asked me why I had chosen my Confirmation name, George.  Well, honestly, I cheated when I did so:  In 2005, the United States presidency was book-ended by two men named George, who both had strong character qualities I admired, a sense of patriotism to serve country, and a sense of faith to live for God.  Those were qualities I wanted to emulate in my own life going forth from my Confirmation.  Of course, with a name like George, I could hide my intentions more easily than if I had picked a name outside the Roman Catholic tradition of saints.  Bishop Kane was a little surprised when I shared with him my reasoning for George, and then told me to think of St. George.  He then sealed me with the sacred Chrism oil in the Name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, to which I responded, “Amen.”  And in response to his offer of peace, and I shook his hand and responded with the now-defunct “And also with you.”  (As an aside, St. George is fitting because he’s the patron saint of England, which is the country that founded the original 13 colonies that became the original United States in the 1780s.)

With that, I was now an officially Confirmed Roman Catholic Christian.  It was almost too much to take in, even as Uncle Bernie whispered “Congrats” in my ear as we walked back to our designated pew.  11 months of preparation, and all the foundation of faith that came before it, flowed to this one culmination moment, and from it would flow a new life sealed in the Holy Spirit.

Indeed, there was much I would have to figure out.  There wasn’t any kind of reunion in the weeks after Confirmation, so there was no opportunity to meet up again with those in my class to process what had happened.  I also had aged out of Religious Education at Ascension, so there wasn’t any more formal faith formation I had to experience at Ascension for the time being.  I ended up attending a high school youth group regularly at CMC, where I had also attended a group during 7^th and 8^th grade.  I had some good experiences learning about what faith means, especially in junior high school level as we learned about all the books of the Bible, and then in high school, with topics like purity, the book of James, prayer, and even a great study during my junior year called the Truth Project, created by Focus on the Family.  

I also continued practicing as a Roman Catholic, attending Mass on a consistent weekly basis.  I even got involved regularly as a lector, first with the monthly Youth Masses, and then in the standard lector pool.  There were aspects of both denominational experiences I valued, and so I stuck with both, even when circumstances challenged me to do otherwise.  But that wasn’t the only challenge in faith I had during my high school years.  It was at this time that I left behind the atmosphere at Julian that, while secular, had encouraged the flourishing of my faith life.  And I entered the more hostile atmosphere in high school that didn’t encourage it, but tested it more, as I faced the reality of friends, teachers, and others who didn’t share my beliefs, and with whom I often found myself at odds in matters of faith, religion, and spirituality.

I was facing many struggles in the years of high school and transitioning toward college.  I couldn’t have known it, but college would bring me a renewed sense of Confirmation, and it started right away.  When I attended the new student orientation at Valparaiso University, Dad, accompanying me, got me connected with St. Teresa of Avila, the Roman Catholic Student Center at ValpU, knowing this would be a perfect way for me to continue in Roman Catholic practice.  (Notably, St. Teresa of Avila's Feast Day is October 15, the same as my Confirmation.)  My initial hesitation gave way to a willingness to try it out.

So on the morning of Sunday, August 23, 2009, I headed downstairs from my accommodations in Lankenau Hall to the lobby to meet people wearing t-shirts that read “Follow Mii to St. Teresa’s”, as did a few other new freshmen students.  They escorted us to St. Teresa’s for our first Mass there.  The day before had brought much sadness as I bid farewell to home, the only home I had ever really known in life, and my parents, to start a new phase in life at ValpU.  If those events, a culmination of all the chaos I had been experiencing in my life during high school, especially the preceding few months, could be regarded as a Crucifixion, what happened at 11 AM on this Sunday morning was like a Resurrection experience.  I was welcomed into a vibrant community of people who truly love God, and proclaim the Gospel, most especially by a ministry of caring for us students, and supporting us in our lives at college. 

The readings from the lectionary that Sunday speak about people making a commitment to God, in both Joshua, and in the Gospel of St. John.  Father Kevin, in his homily, compelled us to commit ourselves anew to God at the start of this new school year, in the same spirit of the response that the people of Israel gave to Joshua, and St. Peter to Jesus, that they would follow the One True God.

This first Mass at St. Teresa’s was for me like a secondhand Confirmation, because it confirmed that even in a new environment, away from my home, family, and all I hold familiar, I would still actively seek the God who promises to always be with us.  I made a commitment to live for God, which was put to the test in an open setting the very next day.  It was also a Confirmation that faith was an important part of my life, and I wouldn’t ever think of not attending Mass each weekend, as I regularly did so every weekend.  

And this first Mass at St. Teresa’s started me on a path in which I would renew my zeal for being Roman Catholic, shedding any shame I felt from circumstances in the preceding few years.  It wasn’t a quick process, though, because I still had to sort through baggage.  However, I was able to see, through the example of the community of St. Teresa’s, that the Roman Catholic Church is a positive force for good in the world, serving people in God’s love.  I was also able to get some faith formation, learning more about some of those practices I had been told were “questionable” and “wrongful”, hearing explanations for them that made a lot of sense.  Over time, these things helped me develop a new appreciation for practicing faith as a Roman Catholic.  All this happened in an environment in which my faith flourished anew.  Much of it happened as I engaged in dialogue with people of varying spiritual backgrounds.  I had many significant conversations, especially with Colleen, who was the InterVarsity Christian Fellowship staff person at ValpU at the time.  That conversation really helped me get a good sense of faith.

It all culminated when I participated in a mission/service trip to St. Augustine Mission in Winnebago, NE, a sister parish of St. Teresa’s.  After having hesitated to participate in other similar service trips before, I knew just the opportunity had come, and jumped at the chance to go.  There, just like at St. Teresa’s, I was able to experience how a group of Roman Catholics could go out and do good in the world, even in the face of such dire circumstances on the reservations.  That weeklong trip is the one experience I can point to when I gladly call myself Roman Catholic, and I would delightedly spend the rest of my days doing so. 

In the spirit of Confirmation and the Holy Spirit, it was so fitting that the weekend I graduated from college coincided with Pentecost weekend.  On the Saturday evening of that weekend, a special evening Mass was held at St. Teresa’s at 7 PM, which both my parents and Uncle Bernie attended.  It was so fitting to cap off my four years at ValpU by celebrating how God had worked in my life, not only in my studies, but in renewing me in my fervor for Roman Catholicism.  It was like I was once dead, and now was made so alive by God’s Spirit working in me through the process that occurred over those four years to make me Roman Catholic anew.  Upon the occasion of my college graduation, I ceremoniously added the name “Cornelius”, the name of the parish where I was baptized, to celebrate my renewed appreciation for being Roman Catholic.

There’s no doubt that I was riding a wave as I exited my college experience, thriving spiritually.  My vibrant spiritual life provided me so much satisfaction, even as I faced the struggle of securing meaningful employment, which certainly could have made those months fresh out of college a time of great pessimism.  While on the wave, I felt compelled to put my faith into action, which I did by increasing my involvement in liturgical ministry at Mass, and most especially in volunteering with Religious Education (RE), both as a teacher of RE--and now I'm in my third year--and then also a mentor at Confirmation preparation meetings for the class of 2014, and subsequently for the class of 2015, soon to have their Confirmation.  Both opportunities in RE were great ways for me to put my faith in dialogue with those developing their own understanding of faith.  For RE class, planning lessons is a chance for me to look at material, think about it, and put in a form to help young people grow in relationship with God, and something similar happened as I headed into each Confirmation preparation meeting.

Walking along side these young people preparing for this sacrament was something amazing, to think I was part of shaping the future of the church.  I remember how emotional it was to see them right at the time of the Confirmation Mass making this commitment to faith, as it stirred deep in my soul the powerful experience I had back at my own Confirmation.

Furthermore, just like my involvement at St. Teresa’s, being part of Religious Education and Confirmation preparation demonstrates that my own Confirmation was not just another ritual, or the end of formal religious education for me.  Rather, it was the beginning of a marvelous work God did, and still is doing, in me to bring me alive in faith, as I took advantage of opportunities to make use of my faith, which Father Larry affirmed so well when I met up with him and Bishop Kane following the Mass for the Confirmation class of 2014--read about it in this blog post .  The way I practice my faith, and even the reason I go to RE class each week goes all the way back to October 15, 2005, when I made that commitment.  I wasn’t sure how it would all turn out, but I stepped out, and God has truly done amazing things.

I pray that as I stand at this 10-year anniversary, I will, from the heart, renew my commitment to grow in relationship with God, responding by faith to the God who has shown me so much love, awaiting the awesome works God will do in the years ahead, as He compels me to work out my faith.  All the while, I will thank God that I am Roman Catholic.  And I will praise God for loving me, saving me, and sanctifying me, through the working out of the Paschal Mystery in me, in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Here I am, center, at the reception following the Mass at which I was confirmed.  To the right is Bishop Francis J. Kane.  To the left is Uncle Bernie.

Here, in the center, is my piece in my class's Confirmation banner, with my Confirmation name, George.

P.S. If you would like a copy of the narrative I wrote for my high school literature class a few months after my Confirmation in 2005, please contact me.  You may also contact me to read an unabridged version of this reflection, with some extra details.